Day one you were so eager
The sparkle in your eyes; your entire being was fired up
Finally with space, to dream bigger than you ever had Everything and anything felt possible
Boston being the little bump in the road we didn't know we needed
You will still prance around in your Harvard sweater like you went there (we sort of did)
You were too good for them, and they were not doing enough to keep you
You create a webspace that you don't really know what to do with
You just wanted to house the feelings you were too proud and embarrassed to let out
The ones pulling you back, and shmooshing you down
Until you reached the pit of emptiness in the heart, with still a voraciously hungry mind and soul
For wonder, for challenge, to discover - knowing deeply, there was so much more
You'll pack up every little thing that you brought into that 400 square foot space
Which surprisingly was a lot that we fit in that adult dorm room smaller than your actual college dorm room
But you are a sentimental girly who made sure to bring the photos, letters and trinkets
That brought you every bit of what home was - the people you laughed with, cried with
Hugged for days on end, shared meals with, and said
"I love you too" and "I love you" to
The day you quit and then on, you spend money like it was infinite
You upgraded your plane seats so you can finally board in a group less than five
You book a one-way to Guatemala with no agenda
Initiated by a single connection through the person who charges you more each year to file your taxes
The next three weeks are pure
For the first time, life feels expansive, and without limits
Black sand burns the bottoms of your feet
You ride waves that made you more afraid of the ocean than you already were
After only a week, everyone in clinic will cry and grieve your departure over lunchtime Caldo de Res
Across the lake, Villa Sumaya is paradise
You meet seven strangers that become your long lost sisters
What happened there can only be described as magic
We chased sunrises, waterfalls and feelings
All feeling a little lost, yet seen within each other
You will not have worked to collect a paycheck for 85 days
85 days of beautifully messy, tearful, and an overwhelm of joy
Leading the life you always wanted
Answering only to what the heart desired
Guiding you to people, and places that will nourish you back to yourself
Did we ever know what that felt like?
Living and existing that way felt wildly unfamiliar, yet so safe and so right
You would not have known it in January 2025 but
You will radiate, and glow - so exuberant that you stop taking your lexapro
You will no longer feel like a failure for trying to heal yourself first
To be on that constant grind that feels like it goes nowhere
Hitting pause on seeing the people who bring us joy
Mindlessly saying yes to the things and people who don't
Infrequently saying no, because why would you ever?
Have we forgotten who or why we are actually doing this all for
Those 85 days will be some of the best days
You will regret that didn't make this longer
[To be continued...]